Soul Burger Launches New ‘Breatharian’ Menu to Save Plants
Sydney chain Soul Burger is known for serving up mouth-watering vegan burgers, chips, shakes, and beers to a diverse clientele.
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But after being on the receiving end of scathing critiques from plant lovers around the nation, the restaurant has turned over a new leaf. That is, there’ll be no leaves for sale at all.
Launching its new “breatharian” menu and switching all plant-based burgers to air-based options, the restaurant declares,
“No more will our murderous staff sever the heads of lettuce, eviscerate carrots and shred garlic alive. No longer will our hands be stained in the warm pink fluid of chopped beetroot”.
The delicious-sounding new burgers will be wholly composed of air particles to avoid cruelty to vegetables, and plant activists everywhere can celebrate this as a landmark victory in the fight to end violence against vegetation.
“We get a lot of messages about this, and I thought, maybe they’re right. Maybe we are hypocrites. So I picked up a carrot near me, I looked at the carrot, and the carrot looked back, and everything changed forever”, says Soul Burger co-founder Amit Tewari, “I could feel the gratefulness of the carrots when we made this decision, we’re definitely committed for the long haul.”
Menu options include The Big Breathfast and the Vital Air Life-Force.
“I realised how horrible our treatment of plants is after deep introspection”, he continues. “How dare we mow our lawns? And how dare we call individual blades of grass, a ‘lawn’? That kind of grassism is deeply problematic. Each blade is a unique individual. We ought to treat each blade how we’d like to be treated if we were blades of grass.”
As for future plans to expand the business? “I’m working on levitating shoes to hover over plants when I walk around. We’ll call them ‘Soul Shoes'”, says Tewari.
Love the sound of these delectable breatharian delights? Head over to Soul Burger’s Facebook page and support a restaurant that truly puts ethics at the forefront of its business model.
